1 Message Received
hi! text inbox is a collection of text messages i receive everyday. since my phone could only contain a limited number (about less than a hundred?) of text messages, i thought of blogging my cellphone inbox's contents/messages. this way, i could share it worldwide while waiting for it to earn. he.he.he.
85 year old man was requested by a doctor to have a sperm count. The doctor gave him a jar and said: “Take this home, bring it back with a semen sample tomorrow”
The next day, the old man returned with an empty jar. The doctor asked what happened. The man explained: “Well doc, first I tried it with my right hand, nothing. My wife tried with her mouth, 1st with teeth in and then with teeth out, still nothing. We even called the lady next door. She tried too, 1st with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezing it between her knees but still was nothing.”
The doctor was shocked, “you asked your neighbor?” “Yup, none of us could open the jar!”
There is nothing quite as sexy as intellect and humor. Not everyone is won over by physical looks. Intellect is appealing, it challenges others to be better and smarter.
It is when you become impossible to deal with yet they stay.
Keep in mind that we should always thank those who hurt us especially those who did so bad because we are forced to transform. They risk the eternal verdict of going to hell just to make us better than who we are. – Tyra Banks
Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. Remember that happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after achievement of a difficult task that demanded our very best!
It is when people do things for you not because they have to but because they want to.
In life, it’s not always getting what you want. You must also learn wanting what you’ve got!
No matter how crazy and funny the scenes around you, it is useless without the people you want to laugh with. I miss laughing out without you…
1. It’s when you don’t know where you stand in a person’s life
2. It’s when you’re hanging in dead air and knowing you can be thrown off anytime
3. It’s when you’re like more than friends but not really, and it’s like you’re lovers when it’s really otherwise
4. Sometimes you would want to wish to have never met the person at all but at the back of your mind, you’re thankful to have.
When the devil reminds you of your past mistake, remind him of his future defeat.
What is nice about life is that each day is never like the other. A bad day can be a prelude to a better one just as a better yesterday can be the best today. Have a blessed morning!
chances are like lightning, they never hit the earth at the same spot twice. so when chnace comes your way grab it because it might never come again!
Some years ago, a newspaper offered a prize for the best definition of money. Out of the hundrerds who competed, the winner submitted this peace:
Money is a universal provider for everything but not happiness and a passport to everywhere but never in heaven.
insecurity reigns in an ugly heart of an empty brain
Hope you wake up to day with
SUNLIGHT in your heart
SUCCESS in your path
ANSWERS to your prayers
and a SMILE that will always be there in your eyes
hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan
To start a day is just like a painting
Draw the line with prayers
Erase the error with forgiveness
Dip the brush with patience
And color it with love!
One of the best feelings in the world is realizing you’re perfectly happy without the thing you needed the most.
To keep something, you must care for it. Much more, you must understand what kind of care it requires.
We go through life thinking someone else will make us happy. But we are wrong. Happiness is our job. We just need someone else to share it with.
Paano namamatay ang tao? Kapag binaril siya? Nalason? Hindi na humihinga? Sabi sa “One Piece” Anime, namamatay ang tao kapag nawala na siya sa puso at isipan ng iba.
It is wiser to be alone and happy than to be with somebody who does nothing but to make you feel stupid. Agree?
Many complain of their looks but none of their brains.
Kahit ikaw ay parang bato, manhid o walang pakiramdam, mag-ingat ka naman dahil ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan, kaya mo naming manakit. –Bob Ong
Wag magmamadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong dip ala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling syang magbreakdance. Tototong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang cruch ng bayan eh magmumukha ring pandesal. –Bob Ong
A little bird was flying in the midst of winter. The bird freeze and fell on the ground. A cow came by and dropped its shit on the frozen bird. The bird realized how warm it was and began singing. A cat passes by and heard the bird and dug it out of the shit and ate him! MORAL: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy and not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. When you’re in deepest shit, just keep your mouth shut!
HE ASKED: Would it make a difference if one person went back to the past and instead of driving to get home, he walked?
I SAID: Yes. The road may not change but the view may be different.
HE SAID: Time is of the essence. It made a difference alright, but still your goal was to go home. You choose to walk, you got home tired and wasn’t able to do what you’re supposed to do. Not knowing the fact that by that you changed the whole world.
What really matters in picking your chocolate is not the sweetness but its capability of making you happy no matter how bitter it could sometimes get. You can always crave for any, but there will always be that special chocolate that’s enough for you to forget the rest.
The world needs men and women
Who cannot be bought
Who will make no compromise with wrong
Who are not afraid to stand for the truth
Who put character above wealth
And brave enough to say NO to the dictates of the majority and the society
Only those who could battle their convictions can respond to this call
Some are willing to make a difference
But some are greater because they go for a change!
Quoted from a Political Science Professor: Take for example the statement “I love you forever.” This is false for “forever” is not empirically quantifiable. The appropriate statement is “I love you today. Ask me again tomorrow because I still do.”
Put God on top of everything today and let Him take charge of all of your plans. Then you’ll see how beautiful His ways are and His unending love.
Never take direction from a crowd for your personal life; and never choose to quit just because somebody else disagrees with you. When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle others, use your heart. Just do what you love and success will come naturally.
One of the biggest form of flattery is knowing that just by being your normal wonderful self, you make some people extremely insecure!
Nagsesermon ang pari.
PARI: Maiiwan natin ang kayamanan at pera kapag tayo ay namatay. Walang pera sa langit!
BATA: Narinig mo yun nay? Nasa langit na pala tayo!
Isang biyuda ang nagusisa sa kanyang abogado tungkol sa last will ng kanyang asawa.
LAWYER: Your husband left all he had to the Home of the Aged.
BIYUDA: What? Paano naman ako?
LAWYER: Mrs, you’re all he had.
NURSE: Miss, gising na…
PATIENT: Bakit nurse?
NURSE: Oras na para uminom ng gamut.
PATIENT: Anong gamot?
NURSE: Pampatulog po.
When you’re in deepest trial and alone, go, walk in plaza. Friends may not be there but I am sure as you go on, you’ll meet people you don’t expect and will ask you, “tricycle ading, laen mo?”
BF: Hon, do you know what?You have a body of a god!
GF: Oh yeah? You really think so?
BF: Yeah!
GF: Venus or Hera?
BF: Buddha!
When God gives us “NO” for an answer, keep in mind that there is a greater “YES” behind it. His “NO” isn’t a rejection but a redirection!
Bakit kaya nauso pa ang alak kung sa akin pa lang tinatamaan na sila? Yun yun eh!
Hindi naman ako tubig pero bakit ang daming uhaw sa akin? Nyehehehe….
TOOTBRUSH: I have the worst job on earth!!!
TISSUE: Excuse me?
MAN TO PRIEST: My dog died, could you say a mass for him?
PRIEST: We can’t have services for an animal in the church, go to the Baptist church, maybe it’s okay with them.
MAN: I’ll go right away father. Do you think 5000 dollars is enough donation for the services?
PRIEST: Son, why didn’t you tell me your dog is a Catholic!?
Kapag may umaway sa iyo at sinabihan ka ng panget, sabihin mo sa kanila, UGLY NEVER STARTS WITH “I”, IT ALWAYS STARTS WITH “U”. Nakaganti ka na, nosebleed pa sila.
I am far from perfect. Madami ako kalokohan sa buhay. Hindi ako yung tipong dapat mahalin kasi ako yung tipong dapat sambahin…Yeah!
A Woman:
One of the most beautiful creations of God.
You can feel her innocence in the form of a daughter.
You can feel her care in a form of a sister.
You can feel her warmth in the form of a friend.
You can feel her passion in the form of a beloved.
You can feel her dedication in a form of a wife.
You can see her divinity in the form of a mother.
You can see her blessings in the form of grandmother.
Her heart is so tender yet strong!
Kapag may nagtanong tungkol sa relasyon niyo ng ex o nanligaw sa iyo na hindi nagwork out, isa lang ang sagot mo: RELIGION. Bakit? DAHIL HINDI SIYA MARUNONG SUMAMBA SA NAG-IISANG DIYOSA!
When I gave my “yes” to the person I love, I stored a message from him which is until now in my inbox dated July 2, 2006 (the same day I said yes).
At the time when you called me back, I wanna hug you and kiss you again. But I said to myself, it’s enough for me to know that you love me…
sometimes, being the subject of gossips and intrigues can be quite flatterin...
because for them, you are so damn interesting...
you really don't have to be super nice always. sometimes, you have to show your bad side so that you can sort out who can accept you at your worst mood.
from terence marata:
"every people has their own interpretation of things. its just that sometimes, people tend to forget that. people follow to other people. what's fun with that? you should make a move to be different. see what they can't see. look at the other side."
"i was often asked why i love you so much. a smile is all i could reply. not that i don't have a reason, but love has a reason that reason can't explain." - Abalgar vs Paz, 93 SCRA 91
two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.
in short:
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
TEACHER: who can give a tag question?
PUPIL: my teacher is beautiful, isn't she?
TEACHER: very good! in tagalog?
PUPIL: si ma'am ay maganda, hindi naman di ba?
it takes a thousand sweet efforts to build a great relationship yet one fatal error can destroy everything you have started.
tanong lang, kung tatawanan ka ng malakas ng mortal mong kaaway na walang ngipin, matatawa ka ba o magagalit? nakakaconfuse di ba?
IBAY: tay' tanong ng teacher namin kung ano po ang trabaho ninyo?
TEBAN: sabihin mo anak, CARPENTER.
IBAY: ano nga yung carpenter itay?
TEBAN: tagapinta ng kotse!
saying goodnight is not just putting an end to a day. it's a way of saying i remember you before i go to sleep. hope you feel the care that goes with it.
minsan - tawag sa akin ng pinsan kong ngongo
if the sun had not been made, i would have been the hottest creation ever! haha!
Love is like drinking beer, once you have too much of it, you begin to act stupid.
All books in this world--Bible, Quoran, Guru Granth and Gita--teach us to love each other!
But only the KAMASUTRA explains how!
We love that book!
if you never met the devil on the road of life, it's probably because you are both headed in the same direction.
...can dispel anxiety; helps manage stress, depression, fear and worry. get high on smiling!
is someone says to you "i love you", accept it, but don't pin all your hopes on those three words. remember that love is a verb, an action word that requires expression.
it's suppose to be hard. it's not worth it if its not. makes a lot of sense?
the Almighty has a plan for all of us, and i agree that the All-seeing Eye does not play dice with our destiny. indeed even pain has a purpose. - CJ Reynato Puno.
it's okay to look back at the trash you've thrown away, but never pick it up again. it's dirty. make sense?
if you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.
Last September 29, 2008. I received a message from +639067990580. here's what the message says:
(NOTICE) Ur simcrd # Won P650,000.00 n our 2nd Anv,PreRaffle Drw last:09/27/08 From:Millionaires Club INC.4 more info &dtails call me nw!Im sec.Vic G. Ignacio.
By searching through Google, typing the name of Vic G. Ignacio, sources says that it is a text scam. so beware!
HOW TO SPOT A SCAM:
1. If the cell number is more than 5 numbers, its a scam.
2. If they say you'll win something by giving money, it's a scam.
3. If someone you don't know is asking for money and it's urgent, it's a scam. They will call if it's real important.
Q: what word starts with F and ends with UCK and causes a lot of noisy excitement?
A: Firetruck!
friendship is not choosing the right person but creating the right relationship. it's not how much you love your friend from the beginning but how much love you build till the end...
find out what makes you happy and follow what your heart tells you. they may call you foolish, but at least, you're a happy fool, not a lonely-empty-wise person.
if friends can be lost simply by closing our eyes, i wouldn't blink at all for i don't want to let a second pass and lose a real friend as special as you.
friends are one of the best things in life. you have to give the best. do the right thing. but the best way to an everlasting friendship comes from 3 words: KEEP IN TOUCH!
- don't fool yourself by being someone you're not
- wear you best costume--yourself!
- smile! it can change the world.
- tears contain an anti-microbial agent that helps protect the eye from bacteria. try crying once in a while. it's natural.
- boys don't cry, men do.
- it's hard to be wise when you're deeply in love.
- your parents brought you up, don't bring them down.
- wounds can only be healed if you decide to be cured.
1. make peace with you past so it won't screw up the present.
2. what other people think of you is none of your business.
3. time heals almost everything, give time.
4. no one is in charge of your hapiness except you.
5. don't compare your life to others and don't judge them. you have no idea what their journey is all about.
6. stop thinking too much, it's alright not to know the answers. they will come to you when you least expect it.
7. smile! you don't own all the problems in the world.
magtanim pa ng maraming damo dahil dumadami ang mukhang kabayo
lolo: nung araw, sa SM, pag may P20 ako, pag-uwi ko meron na akong polo, maong, t-shirt, brief, panyo, medyas at sinturon.
apo: eh ngayon lolo?
lolo: mahirap na apo...may surveillance camera na...
a guy gave three roses to her girlfriend. the girl said, "oh! you're so romantic! why are you giving me three roses? the boy replied, kasi hindi puwedeng bumili ng isa lang, tatlo sampu talaga!
true friendship requires real effort even if everyone is busy with their own lives. a simple message reminds each other that you are not forgotten. and you will never be...
wala lang,
naisip
lang
kita
sorry ha?
baka kasi
naistorbo kita...
baka may
hinihintay
kang message ng iba
pero
gusto ko lang
malaman
mo,
54 ang butas ng skyflakes!
"Give strong drink to those who are perishing. Wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and remember their misery no more." Proverbs 31:6-7
Bible na ang nagsabi! c'mon!
DOY: Ganda ng ROLEX mo!
BOK: Napanalo ko sa karera.
DOY: Talaga? Saan?
BOK: The Fort!
DOY: Ilan kayong tumakbo?
BOK: Tatlo. Yung pulis, yung may-ari at AKO! hehehe...
never underestimate your potential and never be ashamed of what you are. do your best especially when people expect less of you because the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't.
never give up when everything fall into pieces, never even lose hope when everybody turns their back on you. remember that life is not about being fair, it's about surpassing the unfair reality.
we run to reach our dreams so fast and sometimes we fall on the ground. but don't be desperate because the most successful people in this tricky world are those with wounded knees.
in life, you will never know what you've been missing until it arrives and you will never know what you've got until it's missing
NANAY: ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. ang kapal mo!
ANAK: kapag baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. sino ba talaga anak mo? ako o yung baboy! nay, wag ganun!
sperm and mayonaise have a lot in common. 1st, both are spreadable. 2nd, both are rich in protein. 3rd, both comes from eggs and lastly, both are LADIES CHOICE!whoooo!!!!
kung may balak kang gawin ngayon, wag mo nang ituloy. sige ka...wala ka ng gagawin bukas...
DODONG: can i call you mine?
INDAY: that's not my name. I AM YOURS!
.
aba, aba, kumusta naman ang flirtness?!!
hindi porke lagi kang umiinom ay tatawagin ka nang lasenggero. yung iba dun, hindi yung lasa ng alak ang hanap kundi yung lasa ng kainuman. wahahaha!
QUESTION: Why is the Sperm Bank not a member of the Bankers Association of the Philippines?
ANSWER: Because it obtains its funds not from deposits but from withdrawals!
TANONG: bakit bad trip ang pinya sa umaga?
SAGOT: marami kasi siyang aalising muta. nyahahaha!!bukas, badtrip na naman yun!
life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so, wake up in the afternoon. tipid pa sa almusal!
when a male judge makes love to a woman, it's called honorable discharge and when a legislator does it, it's called congressional insertion.
a lady was caught making love with the oblation statue in UP. was a crime committed? yes! statutory rape based on concrete evidence! hahaha!
today, i realized, hindi man ako laging masaya, lagi naman akong masarap! hahaha!
most seeds never grow. for one apple tree to bear 500 apples, you need 10 seeds. in life, this principle might mean you'll need to attend 20 interviews to get 1 job, talk to 50 people to sell 1 house, meet 1000acquaintances to have 1 special person. if we really want things to happen, we usually need to try more than once. that's the law of nature. just understand and work with it.
iba ang tinititigan sa tinitignan. ang tinititigan, sa isang bahagi lang nakatingin. ang tinitignan, buong bahagi ang sinusuri. iba rin ang iniintindi sa inuunawa. ang iniintindi, pinipilit sa isipan. ang inuunawa, alam kung bakit ipilit sa isipan. kung kaya dapat, tinitignan ang mga bagay para maunawaan at hindi titigan lang at iintindihin.
when there are things you want to achieve, you work hard and dream about them everyday to succeed.
always keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them.
similarities create friendships but differences hold them together
the best kind of kiss is the kiss when yu have to stop because you can't help but smile.
follow your heart wherever it leads you. and when you reach a dead end or whenever you get lost, use your brain to bring you back home.
you will know you made the right decision when you pick the harder choice and your heart is at peace.
sometimes, you just have to try not to care no matter how much you want to because sometimes you just mean nothing to someone who means a lot to you. it's not pride, it's called self-respect.
we sometimes think that we never did anything good. we sometimes think that our deeds were never good enough. think again because even a broken clock is right twice a day.
always be happy and always wear a smile not because life is full of reason for you to smile but because your smile itself is a reason for many others to be happy
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